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Success Principles: The Essential Attitudes- Discipline, confidence, motivation and determination (link)

Attitudes about you others and things.

What are the priorities of your life?

Make your bad behaviors rare and brief.

Make sure they don’t happen very often and don’t last very long. Catch them quickly—perhaps even before they occur—stop them immediately and replace them with good behaviors.

You have the ability and the responsibility to control your behavior at all times.

Disciplined thinking, self-control and wisdom are required. Ask yourself: Is this good or bad? Right or wrong? Appropriate or inappropriate? Will it help or hurt? Is it in your best interests? Are there benefits or consequences? Is it Christlike or not? Does it please God and bring Him glory? Yes for one is yes for all.

Sometimes it’s just better to “turn the other two cheeks.”

It requires two fools to have a needless conflict. Walk (or run) away from it. Just say nothing and do nothing. You are the one who should react to the bad of others with good. It wins every time. You give them what they need, grace, and not what they deserve.

Do not reciprocate (DNR) the negativity of others.

To reciprocate means to respond in like manner). Two negatives do not make a positive (unless you multiply or divide them; algebraically speaking). Consistently make every attempt to present the good attitudes and actions you wish to be reciprocated by others.

Do not mimic someone else’s bad behavior. Instead, model the attitudes and actions you hope to see in return. You will be surprised how often good behavior is reciprocated simply because you chose to act first.

Decide in advance how you will respond to situations before they occur.

Always have an attitude in place to deal with any circumstance before it even happens, so you will know how to behave. “If this happens, this is how I will respond.” A simple rule: Respond to both good and bad things with a good good attitude.

The results will surprise you. A good attitude can make bad things seem like they’re not so bad after all.

Bad attitudes make both bad things and good things seem worse. Good attitudes make both good things and bad things seem better.

And better is better than bad every single time.

Never overreact unless the situation is dangerous or life-threatening.

Most situations are neither.

Whatever happens, always conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Always Christlike, pleasing to God and bringing Him glory in all circumstances. This works every single time.

Be careful of your influences and be careful how you influence others.

Use commands to guide and direct your actions and reactions. Most people try to manage bad behavior with self-talk—reasoning, explaining, justifying, or debating with themselves. That rarely works in the moment. Bad behavior doesn’t need a discussion; it needs direction. A command is a short, authoritative instruction that immediately interrupts and redirects behavior. Words like Stop. Focus. Next. Let it go. don’t negotiate with emotion—they govern it. The fastest way to change behavior is to issue a command. Dismiss the thought, don’t say it, don’t do it, be quiet, let it go, be patient, be nice, next pitch, just listen, yes, no, laugh it off, just smile, shut-up. Be nice, be positive or be quiet. Dismiss the thought: you recognize a thought that in not good, not Christlike, not pleasing to God or bringing him glory. Simply dismiss the thought before it becomes action and don’t think about it again.

Plug in the essential attitudes each day.

Discipline, confidence, motivation and determination.

They are universal keys for success in all areas of life. You have them, you just have to renew your commitment to using them and plug them in.

Thank God It’s Today!

Every day. You are not guaranteed ……

The Power of Yes and No.

Think before you say things or do things; before you act or react. (a tape delay) Choose your actions wisely; are they good or bad, right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, will they help or hurt, are there benefits or consequences, is it in-character or out-of-character, is it Christ-like or not, does it please God or does it not? Use self-restraint when needed. Sometimes just saying and doing nothing are the best responses. Or perhaps a “soft answer will turn away wrath.” You might just have to kill ’em with kindness. It’s like heaping burning coals on their head; figuratively speaking. Maybe, just smile and change the subject or your location. Sometimes you might just have to “turn the other two cheeks” and walk (or run) away.’

You Get What You Give.

You will usually “get what you give.” There are a few exceptions. If you give “good” you get “good.” If you give “bad,” you get “bad.” It’s called reciprocity. It is the key to all relationships. It’s how human beings are wired, so expect it.

Avoid the Contraction Distractions.

Can’t, won’t, don’t, ain’t. Cannot, will not, do not, am not.

The focus must never be on “not.”

CD’s can become excuses for inaction, avoidance, and defeat.

Henry Ford said, ““Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”

Pablo Picasso said, “He can who thinks he can and can’t who thinks he can’t. This is an inexorable, indisputable law.”

Mary Kay Ash in her pitch to her independent beauty consultants, said it this way, “If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can’t, you’re right.”

And if you think you can and can enough, you will win a pink cadillac.

Mary Kay became famous for rewarding her top-performing sales representatives with pink Cadillacs, beginning in 1969.

The pink Cadillac became a symbol of success, achievement, and recognition in her sales organization.

The brain “muscle” does what it’s told to do. If you focus on not, “not” is what you will get; “cannot, will not, do not, am not” is what the brain will seek. You’ll get what you don’t want. Keep it up and you’ll find you’re a prophet.

It’s true… you either can or you can’t, will or you won’t, do or you don’t.

But don’t let your contractions be distractions.

Focus only on what you can do, will do and do do.

Always look for the good and expect the best.

Just Say Yes to The Power of Yes and No.

Learn to say yes to the things you need to yes to and no to the things you should say no to- yes to good and no to bad. Yes to the things you should say, no to the things you should not say. Yes to the things you should do and no to the things you should not do.

The problem arises when you say no to the things you should say yes to and yes to the things you should say no to. Remember, some of these yes’es could have unplanned and unwanted consequences.

Change Your Bad Thoughts, Attitudes and Actions in a Instant.

Ongoing Awareness. Catch Yourself in the Act. Do a 180. Dismiss. Stop. Replace. Reset.

“It is quicker and easier to act your way into new thinking than to think your way into new actions.”

There is only one rule for relationships and it’s golden.

Always be nice, friendly, kind, polite, respectful and fair, especially to yourself. And do it unconditionally.

Nobody can make you do what you decide “not to do” or stop you from doing what you decide “to do.”

If you don’t like something, change it. And if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.

Give It First Before You Get It.

Avoid a potential confrontation by beating the other person to the punch and “give it” first. Smile first, speak first, extend your hand first, greet them first, say or do something nice and encouraging first. Tell them “I hope you have a great day!”

Give it first, regardless of what you get in return.

You will be stunned with the reciprocal results!

I was telling people to have a nice day for a long time and one day I said it and this person said ‘quit telling me to have a nice day!” I followed up by saying “I hope you have a nice day.” There was no response. 🙂

I was in a crowded Wal Mart parking lot one day and when I got out of the car, a suspicious looking fellow walked toward. I thought I was gonna get robbed. I greeted him with kindness and he looked baffled that anyone would speak to him that way. I told him “I hope you have a great day.” He said the same thing back to me. He didn’t rob me, but probably robbed to first person who was not kind, cussed him and didn’t wish him a good day. 🙂

I beat him to the punch… before he punched me.

Proper use of the Tongue

Eliminate the trash talk, the gossip, the putdowns, the negativity, and the filthy profanity and suggestive language. Find a better way say things. Be nice, be positive or be quiet. Control your tongue or bite it. Duct tape or shock collar, if needed. Use more pick me ups and less put me downs. Compliment others at every opportunity. Take compliments well; just say thanks. Kill ’em with kindness. If you don’t have anything good to say…., Quit saying I’m having a bad day; 24 hours, 1440 minutes, and 86,400 in each day, That’s 2500-3300 per hour or 42-56 per minute; plenty of time to find or make something good about it. Quit saying I hate, that stupid, if only, it’s not possible. A soft answer turns away wrath. Focus more on what’s right, than what’s wrong. They’ll feel better and you’ll feel better. Turn the other two cheeks. Whatever happens… How would you respond if someone was talking to you like you talk to them. Seek solutions. Do you kiss to your mother with that mouth? Don’t exacerbate you spouses, children and friends when 1) you wouldn’t allow them to talk to you like that. 2) you don’t even talk to you pets like that. Listen to yourself. Stop it. Replace it. Do a 180.

The Proper Use of the Tongue

Do You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth?

Your tongue can be one of your greatest assets—or it can get you into a whole lot of trouble!

Eliminate the trash talk, gossip, putdowns, negativity, filthy profanity, and suggestive language. Find a better way to say things. Be nice, be positive, or be quiet!

Control your tongue or bite it. Use duct tape or a shock collar, if necessary!

Use more pick-me-ups and fewer put-me-downs. Compliment others at every opportunity. They need it. And when someone compliments you, don’t argue with them or try to explain it away. Just smile and say, “Thank you!” Learn how to take a compliment.

Kill ’em with kindness! Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15:1). Sometimes the best response to an insult is a smile. Sometimes it’s silence. And sometimes you just need to turn the other two cheeks and walk away!

And remember what your mama taught you: “If you don’t have anything nice to say…” Well, you know the rest!

Quit Talking Yourself Into a Bad Day!

Stop telling everybody you’re having a bad day!

There are 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, and 86,400 seconds in every day. Just because a few of those moments didn’t go your way doesn’t mean the whole day is shot!

You’ve got plenty of time left to find something good—or make something good happen!

And while you’re at it, eliminate some of those negative expressions from your everyday vocabulary:

“I hate…” “That’s stupid!” “If only…” “It’s impossible!” “I can’t!” “I won’t!” “I don’t!”

There you go again with those Contraction Distractions!

Focus more on what’s right than what’s wrong. Look for the good and expect the best!

Would You Talk to Yourself That Way?

Here’s a question worth asking yourself:

How would you respond if someone talked to you the way you talk to them?

Think about that one!

And here’s another: “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”

Don’t speak to your spouse, children, family, or friends in ways you wouldn’t tolerate from them.

Some people speak more respectfully to complete strangers than they do to the people they supposedly love the most! That is a sad truth.

And here’s something else to think about: You don’t even talk to your dog like that!

So why talk that way to your spouse or children?

Your words matter. Your tone of voice matters. Your facial expressions and body language matter. And the attitude behind all of them matters!

It’s not just what you say. It’s how you say it!

Catch Yourself in the Act!

Pay attention to the words coming out of your mouth and how you’re saying them.

Are you encouraging or discouraging? Complimenting or criticizing? Building people up or tearing them down? Making things better or making things worse?

Listen to yourself!

When you catch yourself saying something you shouldn’t—or saying something the wrong way—don’t keep going just because you’ve already started. You can change it in an instant.

Catch Yourself in the Act. Do a 180! Stop it. Dismiss it. Replace it. Reset to default.

Change your thoughts, attitudes and actions from bad to good—on the spot!

And remember, you don’t have to say everything that comes to your mind. Some thoughts are better left unspoken!

Be nice. Be friendly. Be kind. Be polite. Be respectful. Be fair. And do it unconditionally! That’s golden!

You’ll feel better and they’ll feel better and better is better than badder all day long.

We didn’t have a pet when we grew up. My parents treated us like dogs. Instead of saying “go to you room” dad would say go under the house.

The places you shouldn’t be at. The people you shouldn’t be hanging around. The things that you should not be saying and doing.

Identify your problems and focus on solutions.

You cannot control all the circumstances in life, but you can always control the way you think and act in every circumstance.

Identify your problems and then focus on solutions. Do not keep re-identifying the same problems over and over.

Do not be anxious. Statistics say that 90% or more of the things we worry about never even happen. If it’s already happened. Delete. Reset.

If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it and then perhaps you will find a solution.

Biblical rules: A soft answer turns away wrath. Be slow to speak. Listen and then respond. Turn the other two cheeks.

The Optimist Club: You are going to get what you’re looking for, so always look for the good and expect the best. Why would you ever do this the other way around? Your behavior and performance tend to gravitate in the direction of your expectations. Raise your expectations. The half full glass. Overflowing? Too big?

Biblical Rules for What We Say and How We Say It

A soft answer turns away wrath. Speak gently, even when others are angry. (Proverbs 15:1)
Think before you speak. Don’t say something you’ll later regret. (Proverbs 15:28)
Don’t gossip. Never spread information that damages someone’s reputation. (Proverbs 16:28)
Know when to remain silent. Not everything requires a response. (Proverbs 17:27–28)
Let your yes mean yes and your no mean no. Be truthful and dependable. (Matthew 5:37)
Speak the truth in love. Be honest without being hurtful. (Ephesians 4:15)
Let your words build others up, not tear them down. (Ephesians 4:29)
Don’t complain or argue unnecessarily. (Philippians 2:14)
Don’t use filthy or offensive language. Let your speech reflect godliness. (Colossians 3:8)
Use gracious words. Let your conversations be pleasant and respectful. (Colossians 4:6)
Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Listen carefully before responding. (James 1:19)
Don’t repay insults with insults. Respond with kindness instead. (1 Peter 3:9)

Biblical Rules for What We Do

Keep your promises. Be a person whose word can be trusted. (Psalm 15:4)
Be a peacemaker. Look for ways to resolve conflicts rather than create them. (Matthew 5:9)
Turn the other cheek. Don’t retaliate when someone mistreats you. (Matthew 5:39)
Go the extra mile. Be willing to do more than what’s required. (Matthew 5:41)
Love your enemies. Show kindness even to those who oppose you. (Matthew 5:44)
Treat others the way you want to be treated. Practice the Golden Rule. (Matthew 7:12)
Do good to those who mistreat you. Don’t let someone else’s bad behavior determine yours. (Luke 6:27–28)
Don’t repay evil for evil. Choose to do what is right regardless of what others do. (Romans 12:17)
Overcome evil with good. Never allow evil to become an excuse for doing evil. (Romans 12:21)
Be generous. Give willingly and cheerfully. (2 Corinthians 9:7)
Practice self-control. Don’t allow anger, frustration, or temptation to control your behavior. (Galatians 5:22–23)
Be patient with others. Show grace when people make mistakes. (Ephesians 4:2)
Be kind and compassionate. Show concern for the needs and feelings of others. (Ephesians 4:32)
Be humble. Put others ahead of yourself. (Philippians 2:3–4)
Do everything without grumbling or complaining. (Philippians 2:14)
Forgive others. Don’t hold grudges or seek revenge. (Colossians 3:13)
Don’t show favoritism. Treat everyone fairly and respectfully. (James 2:1)
Help those in need. Don’t just talk about love; demonstrate it through your actions. (1 John 3:18)

Biblical Rules for What We Should Not Say

Don’t talk too much. The more you talk, the greater the opportunity to say something wrong. (Proverbs 10:19)
Don’t speak harshly. Harsh words stir up anger and create unnecessary conflict. (Proverbs 15:1)
Don’t make fun of others. Never ridicule someone for their weaknesses or misfortunes. (Proverbs 17:5)
Don’t answer a question before hearing it. Listen until you understand. (Proverbs 18:13)
Don’t flatter people to gain their favor. Be sincere in what you say. (Proverbs 26:28)
Don’t brag about yourself. Let others praise you rather than praising yourself. (Proverbs 27:2)
Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. Think carefully before making commitments. (Ecclesiastes 5:4–5)
Don’t speak badly about others. Avoid slander and malicious talk. (Titus 3:2)
Speak words that encourage. Look for opportunities to strengthen and comfort others. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
Don’t be quarrelsome. You don’t have to win every argument. (2 Timothy 2:24)

Rules for Our Reactions

Be slow to anger. Don’t allow your emotions to control your reactions. (James 1:19–20)
Don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Deal with anger rather than allowing it to grow. (Ephesians 4:26)
Don’t take offense easily. Be patient and willing to overlook minor wrongs. (Proverbs 19:11)
Be joyful in difficult circumstances. Don’t let circumstances determine your attitude toward God. (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18)
Don’t worry about tomorrow. Trust God and deal faithfully with today. (Matthew 6:34)
Give thanks in all circumstances. Practice gratitude even when life is difficult. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Be willing to accept correction. Don’t let pride prevent you from learning. (Proverbs 12:1)
Respond to persecution with blessing, not cursing. (Romans 12:14)
Be patient when wronged. Don’t respond impulsively or seek personal revenge. (2 Timothy 2:24–25; Romans 12:19)
Examine yourself before criticizing others. Deal with your own faults first. (Matthew 7:3–5)

What We Should Not Say

41. Don’t speak harshly. Harsh words stir up anger and create unnecessary conflict. (Proverbs 15:1)

42. Don’t brag about yourself. Let others praise you rather than praising yourself. (Proverbs 27:2)

43. Don’t speak badly about others. Avoid slander and malicious talk. (Titus 3:2)

44. Don’t make fun of others. Never ridicule someone for their weaknesses or misfortunes. (Proverbs 17:5)

45. Don’t flatter people to gain their favor. Be sincere in what you say. (Proverbs 26:28)

46. Don’t talk too much. The more you talk, the greater the opportunity to say something wrong. (Proverbs 10:19)

47. Speak words that encourage. Look for opportunities to strengthen and comfort others. (1 Thessalonians 5:11)

48. Don’t be quarrelsome. You don’t have to win every argument. (2 Timothy 2:24)

49. Don’t make promises you don’t intend to keep. Think carefully before making commitments. (Ecclesiastes 5:4–5)

50. Don’t answer a question before hearing it. Listen until you understand. (Proverbs 18:13)

What We Do

51. Do what’s right, even when nobody is watching. Live with integrity. (Proverbs 10:9) What We Say