Character
(9 minute read)
Your character reveals “who” you are and how you will act and react in the good and bad situations and circumstances of your life. For many people, their character also reveals “whose” they are in Jesus Christ; with “Christlike” character.
Your character reveals your identity and influences the performance of the important roles you play in life and the quality of life you live each day.
Character can be described as the “complete sum of all of your thoughts, attitudes and actions developed over time.”
[Think + Say + Do] = “Be”
This connects directly to a fundamental principle: What you repeatedly think, say and do eventually becomes who you are.
It is your attitudes which are the defining “characteristics” that make up the “content” of your character. Character, like attitudes, is written in your heart and conscience, ingrained, firmly established and difficult to change. It does not usually fluctuate back and forth. It is what you have designed it to be, intentionally or not.
You instinctively “act out” your character. It reveals your core values, your traits and behaviors which make up and distinguish you as a one-of-a-kind individual. It is guided by a moral compass installed by the moral authority of the one true, sovereign, living, Creator God.
~Mor·al /ˈmôr(ə)l/ adjective – 1. Concerned with the principles of right and wrong behavior and the goodness or badness of human character. Righteousness or unrighteousness.
Just like thoughts, attitudes and actions, character can either be good or bad. It can’t be both at the same time and can’t be anything other than good or bad.
You must be careful who and what influences your character and also be careful how you influence others by your character.
Attitude Modifiers: Defining the “Characteristics” of Your Character
An attitude modifier is an adjective for the noun “attitude;” a fill-in-the-blank attitude, a good attitude, for example. The modifiers describe and give more specific information about the attitudes which becomes the characteristics that shape and define the content of your character.
They are descriptors of how you will likely act and react in any situation or circumstance. When you act and react as you should, it is “in-character.” When you don’t, it’s “out-of-character.”
Here are some examples of “good” attitude modifiers: a positive attitude, an optimistic attitude, an enthusiastic attitude, a good attitude, a friendly attitude, a happy attitude, a confident attitude, a respectful attitude, a Christ-like attitude, an unselfish attitude and, of course, many, many more.
The focus should be only “good” modifiers. For example: a “positive” attitude. That’s what you want. The actions produced by a positive attitude “adds” to the quality of your life. Obviously, if it’s not positive, it’s negative, which “takes away” from that quality.
These are the only two choices you have. It is one or the other, each in direct opposition of the other and there is nothing in-between; no gray area or any other options to deceive yourself with.
You can use the “or not” method to identify the good modifiers. Instead of happy or sad, for example, you’re either happy “or” you’re not. You’re either motivated “or” you aren’t. It works the same for any good modifier— friendly or not, respectful or not and all others.
There is no need to even know what the negative modifiers are. Remove the negativity from your thinking completely. Fill your mind with only what you want. The “or not” method will help do this.
Attitude Modifier Prefixes and Suffixes
Notice that “unselfish” is a good character trait, even though many other words with the prefix un- describe bad character traits, such as unfriendly and untrustworthy.
Other examples include im- (immoral), ir- (irresponsible), in- (inconsiderate), and dis- (disrespectful).
These prefixes generally mean “not” or “the opposite of.”
The words we use influence the direction of our thinking. Tell yourself not to be friendly, trustworthy, moral, responsible, or respectful, and you’re directing your behavior away from those good qualities.
Notice that “unselfish” is actually a good character trait because it means not being selfish.
Remember, your brain does many things automatically, but you can deliberately direct your thinking and behavior. You can tell yourself, “Say this. Do this. Don’t say that. Don’t do that.”
For example, “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” You either can or can’t, will or won’t, do or don’t.
The suffix ‘-ful’ also applies. Hateful, sinful, and spiteful are bad. Joyful and respectful are good. The suffix often means ‘full of’ something—full of hate, full of sin, full of spite, full of joy, or full of respect.
Notice that ‘disrespectful’ and ‘ungrateful’ get the double whammy of both a prefix and a suffix.
Be aware of what you are full of. Everybody else already knows.
Avoid these poisonous attitudes at all costs.
Also note that ‘integrity’ is one of the most important qualities of good character. It is the adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty. It’s a quality worth developing and protecting. Be a person of great integrity. It will greatly enhance your character.
Don’t allow negative attitudes and behaviors to define who you are. Focus on good and all the attitudes and character traits that represent it.
Recognize bad behavior when it happens—or better still, before it happens. Don’t say it. Don’t do it. Stop saying it. Stop doing it. Replace bad behavior with good behavior.
You change the direction of your behavior the moment you stop doing what’s bad and start doing what’s good.
Don’t assume you’re helpless. You have more power to influence your behavior than you may realize. You can choose to change your behavior… on-demand.
Be intentional in the design and improvement of your character. It reflects who you are or, better still, whose you are, and how you live your life.
What are the specific attitude modifiers which shape and define the content of your character? You need to know this. Work on it and fine-tune it every day through your thoughts, attitudes and actions!
Here are some examples of good attitude modifiers to choose from—at least one for every letter from A to Z. (And believe me, Q, X, and Y weren’t easy!)
A: Affectionate, appreciative
B: Benevolent, bold
C: Can-do, caring, cheerful, Christlike, compassionate, confident, considerate, courteous
D: Dependable, determined, disciplined
E: Encouraging, enthusiastic
F: Fair, faithful, friendly
G: Generous, gentle, godly, graceful, grateful
H: Happy, honest, humble
I: Integrity (a noun, but too important to leave out!)
J: Joyful
K: Kind
L: Loving
M: Moral, motivated
N: Nice, nurturing
O: Optimistic
P: Patient, peaceful, persistent, polite, positive
Q: Quick to forgive
R: Relentless, resilient, respectful, responsible, righteous
S: Self-controlled, sincere
T: Tough-minded, trustworthy
U: Understanding, unselfish
V: Vibrant, virtuous
W: Winning, wise
X: Xenial (I’m stretching here—it means hospitable!)
Y: Yielding to God
Z: Zealous
There are plenty more good qualities you can add.
As a starter, create several of your own personal “go-to” attitude modifiers. Memorize them. Master them. Add more. Review them daily. Know simple definitions of each and know the behaviors that are needed to act them out.
Ongoing awareness is the key to alerting you when a bad attitude has been triggered. Catch yourself in the “act” of thinking, saying or doing something you shouldn’t be and “do a 180.”
Recognize situations as they occur and consciously either dismiss the thought before you act on it, stop the behavior in its tracts, and replace the bad attitude with a good one and and go in the other direction as fast as you can, literally and figuratively, (more on this in Rule #8)
Notable Thoughts about Character
“A man is literally what he thinks, his character being the complete sum of all his thoughts, attitudes and actions.” – James Allen, As a Man Thinketh (emphasis added)
“The adjectives (attitude modifiers) used to describe a person’s attitude speak volumes about the content of his or her character.” RAC
“Character is higher than intellect.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson, The American Scholar (1837)
“Character is that which reveals moral purpose, showing what kind of things a man chooses or avoids.” — Aristotle, Poetics, Chapter 6, translated by S. H. Butcher
“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.” — Unknown
Memorize and Use This Rule:
Rule #6 – Your attitudes shape and define the “content” of your character.
